On Sunday, October 11, 2020, an author by the name of the Chris Rose, while reflecting on his writing, paraphrased Han Solo-
“Let’s just say we want to avoid any editorial entanglements,” he wrote.
The response to Chris’ Twitter post happened at light speed. Writers, rebels all, struck back with words, jokes, and even some wisdom. Missives were sent via droid to speak to writers of all stripes in Star Wars code.
In this period, where the dark side’s dominance makes many of us wonder whether the chance to return to normalcy is as likely as hitting a duct the size of a womp rat, writers Jeff Reynolds, Maureen Zahn, Tyler Hayes, Don Pizarro, and myself threw ourselves into the fray to offer our followers A New Hope.
I thought I should share… Help me, readers. You are an author’s only hope.
Each quote below was copied from Twitter with the poster’s permission.
Chris Rose:
“Let’s just say we want to avoid any editorial entanglements.” #amwriting
- [eyes manuscript] “She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.”
Andrew Hiller:
- “These are not the adverbs you are looking for. Move along.”
- “There is no try. Only rewrites.”
- “Fear is the path to the blank page…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering.”
- “Luminous beings are we writers are…not this crude review.”
- [camera pans from query letter on monitor to tight zoom of author’s shaking finger over “send” button.] Author: Never tell me the odds.
- Audio Book Reader: [gasping] “Just for once, let me look on you with my own eyes.”
- “Help me, beta readers. You are my only hope.”
- “Luke: You know that little plot hole’s going to cause me a lot of trouble.
C-3PO: Oh, it excels at that, sir.”
- When 900 rejections you reach, look this good you will not.”
Jeff Reynolds:
- “Help me, current WIP, you’re my only hope.”
- (staring in awe) “That’s no metaphor….”
- (much later) “Everything under control, situation normal. Uh, had a slight plot malfunction. But everything’s fine now. We’re all fine here. How are you?” (smashes computer) “Boring narrative anyway. Luke, we’ve got a rewrite coming!”
- “Uncle Owen! This plotline has a bad motivator!”
- “No. I am your main antagonist.” “No! That’s not true. That’s not possible!” “Search your outline. You know it to be true.”
Maureen Zahn:
- “[TK add name]. You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”
- Andrew: I almost want to go with– “Slush reader, you’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”
- “Writers are easily startled, but they’ll soon be back — and j greater numbers.”
- “I’m a red pen, I’m here to rescue you!”
- *dying on Degobah* There is… another… storyline…
Tyler Hayes:
- “I did the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs![BETAS DIDN’T GET THE JOKE HERE, MAKE ERROR MORE LUDICROUS.]”
- “These turns of phrase…too accurate for MFA Guys. Only SFF writers are this precise.”
John Appel:
- (Agent to editor with contract redlines) “I have altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further.”
- “No, [AUTHOR], *I* am your main character.”
- [Author seeing one of their friends get a starred review/nominated for an award] *Chewbacca roar at the end of A NEW HOPE*
- [Author to agent after inking a deal] “I love you.” Agent: “I know.”
Don Pizarro:
- “When 100,000 words you reach, look as good your first draft will not.”
